So it's been a couple of weeks since I've updated here so I decided I probably should get on it.

Christmas was pretty somber. We were all well aware of what was missing. WHO was missing... the baby in my belly. Mu incisions are still sore but I am back to normal physically for the most part. I got a positive OPK on Tues/Wed 12/27 and 28th and temps are now up so it looks like I O'd. I also had O pains from hell and rectal pressure from hell so yeah, let's hope that was a one time post op event.
It's still mildy there but hoping that goes away soon. I called the nurse at my OB/GYN office and she thought it was leftover gas from surgery...18 days later. I think she just wanted to get off the phone. She actually told me to put gingerale in hot tea. WHAT? so yeah. Hope that goes away soon.

My HCG was 6.8 on 12/19 and I had my last draw on 12/29 - it was less than 2, so no more until next time I get pregnant. Thank goodness.

I'm back to work today and it's good. I'm glad to be back to normalcy somewhat. Yesterday was the first day I started to feel like maybe the world's not ending. The babycenter emails have to be unsubscribed because today it told me I was 10 weeks and that my baby is an inch long. It's hard because even without them I keep thinking of what week I would have been on. I would have a little bump by now for sure.

I have a tree outside my balcony that I look at daily. The top looks like a little cradle to me and the day of my "threated m/c" (before I knew it was EP) - I imagined my baby resting in it. The other day I was looking at it and just next to it was a rainbow. It made me smile, because I am now waiting for my rainbow baby.



The idea of a rainbow baby makes me smile.

"In some circles, babies born to families after the loss of a child are referred to as "Rainbow Babies." The idea is that the baby is like a rainbow after a storm. "Rainbow Babies" is the understanding that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. When a rainbow appears, it doesn't mean the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of color, energy and hope."