It has been a little while since I have updated. Jarred and I are doing okay and thinking about trying for another baby again soon. It is terrifying. We miss our baby so much and I still have a lot of emotions. The biggest thing I still feel is WHY. With miscarriages, the body ends the pregnancy because something is wrong with the baby. With an ectopic, our babies were FINE. My baby was alive, well, thriving even after the MTX shot kept growing. And I had to end it. That is what pisses me off beyond words. I feel like my body failed me. I was supposed to protect my baby, and I couldn't. There was nothing wrong with my baby. He or she was just in the wrong spot :(

2nd AF has arrived and it is more painful than the first. I wish there was no such thing as AF but then we wouldn't be able to have babies. Being a woman really sucks sometimes.